the lost art of doing nothing
September is a month without any respite. The school year starts, the calendar fills back up, and for my family, the Jewish holidays arrive one after another. There are menus to plan, tables to set, orders to fill, and this year my oven didn’t get a break.
Whether or not you observe any of the Jewish holidays, tucked inside that Fall stretch is an important lesson about rest.
Yom Kippur commands us to stop: no cooking (or eating), no errands, no work, no rushing. Just a full day of stillness and reflection. A few days later, Sukkot (which we’re in the middle of right now) invites us outside to sit in a simple, temporary shelter. Many Sukkahs are festively decorated with string lights, colorful paper chains, and laminated kids’ art, but at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter what it looks like inside. The point is to be in it: to share a meal, look up through the branches, and be present in that moment.
Somewhere along the way, most of us lost the ability to do this on a regular basis. Rest has become something we “earn” once the to-do list is done… And let’s be honest, the list is never done. Even our downtime gets optimized: a podcast on the walk, a scroll in the pickup line, a phone call to an old friend on the car ride, or a "relaxing" weekend packed with activities.
There was a moment a few weeks ago, after I finished making eight desserts for an order in a single day, when I went outside and took a seat on my stoop. In that moment, I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and really learned to appreciate the stillness.
I think many of us have been conditioned to see stillness as laziness, but it isn’t. Doing nothing is what makes the doing worthwhile. It's the pause that lets you notice the light on the table, or actually taste the dessert you spent all afternoon making.
A few ways to practice “doing nothing” this fall
Linger after dinner. Leave the dishes for twenty minutes and stay at the table just talking to your partner.
Sit outside with nothing in your hands. A porch, a stoop, or a bench all count. Take a deep breath of the fresh air.
Let kids be bored. Boredom is where their best ideas come from, and yours too.
Make one ritual out of rest. Tea after bedtime, a Sunday walk, or candles lit for no reason.
The hectic winter holidays will be here soon enough, with all their lovely busyness. Before they arrive, give yourself permission to do nothing at all, and to call it time well spent.
